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WHAT IN THE WORLD DO NOT GET

Once there was a gentleman, a rich-prebogaty. He did not know where to put their money. Eat-drink sweet, dressed smartly, staying with him every day, there was so much that the other on holidays that did not happen. And all the money he did not decrease, even coming.

And once his master wanted to make fun of the guy, fool yourself and to the delight of guests. He calls himself a poor man from the village, and said to him:

- Listen, man. I'll give you the money entire Malenko, just tell me what in the world does not happen. Nowadays people are just reached: on line drive and fly through the sky, and Peter the wire can send sandals. Tell me: what on earth is?

Man scratched his head.

- I do not know - he says - sir, I believe, earnest everything happens. Give us time until tomorrow - maybe they like.

- Well Come to think, - said the master - but come tomorrow, the answer brings. ... Читать дальше »

Testicles

Me grandfather lived a woman so they had Speckled Hen, laid under the floor of the egg - pestro, vostro, kostyano, mudreno! Grandfather beat - not broken, the woman beat - not broken, and the mouse ran up the tail so crushed. Grandfather crying woman crying, chicken kudkudachet, gates creak, chips fly out of the yard, on top of the hut is reeling!

Popov went to the waters daughter asked his grandfather, a woman asked:

- What are you crying for?

- How can we not cry! - Meet grandfather yes woman. - We have a Speckled Hen, laid under the floor of the egg - pestro, vostro, kostyano, mudreno! Grandfather beat - not broken, the woman beat - not broken, and the mouse ran up the tail so crushed.

We heard it Popov daughter with great sorrow threw buckets down, broke the rocker and returned home empty-handed.

- Oh, mother! - They say falling. - Do not you know, do not know, but in light of t ... Читать дальше »

PIKE with horseradish

Lived a gentleman. He had gone to town - sat down to play cards and all lost: carriage and horses. Left without a penny. And they went home with a lackey.

Go expensive. They walked and walked, and go far away. Hungry, and there was nothing there!

- Come on, - said the footman, - rest by the river.

They sat down on the bank and in the river and splashed pike.

Master and says:

- Ah, if only this pike with horseradish yes!

A waiter:

- Ah, if only the water - so the bread!

- Yes, it would be nice to ...

Six brothers - ALL Agathon

As we have in the village began to argue with Peter Luke, somutilasya water with sand, the sister with sister-in-law was a great battle, In the battle-goryuhu injuring cereal, jelly-filled Goryunov in full, the turnips and carrots have sap, cabbage inclined to the sword. And I'm not ripe for a fight, sat on a bench.

At that time we lived six brothers - all Agathon was Taras father and mother - I do not remember what was the name, but that up to the name? Let it be Malanya. I originally had something less, a great mind.

Here people go plow the land, and we, six brothers, arms waving. People used to think: we plow horses yes to wave our hands, and we are amongst themselves manage. A father has imposed the whip buckwheat waved once or twice and threw away.

Freaks we predobraya buckwheat. People came out in the press, and we lay in the furrows, lay before dinner, after dinner and slept much urge bread st ... Читать дальше »

SHEMYAKIN COURT

There lived two brothers. One once was poor, and the other rich. Do not become a poor brother of firewood. There is nothing to be heated oven. It's cold in the house.

So he went into the forest, chopped firewood, and no horses. How to bring the wood?

- I will go to my brother, I will ask the horse.

Unkind took his rich brother.

- Take a horse it, but see the big wagon is not imposed, but forward is no hope for me today so let me give tomorrow, and then himself on the world go.

Cited poor horse home and remembered:

- Oh, clamp, then I do not! Just do not ask, and now there is nothing to go - do not give a brother.

Wood-sledge stronger somehow tied to the tail of a horse and rode bratnina.

On the way back, caught a stump wood-sledge, and the poor man did not notice the horse whipped.

The horse was hot, lunged and tore the tail.

How rich brother ... Читать дальше »

SHABARSHA

Ai amuse you a fairy tale? A wonderful tale: no diva in her wonderful, wonderful miracle, and farmhand Shabarsha so they took to the plow, so Nechay say - look back at all!

Shabarsha laborers went on to live, but it was the dashing Godin: no no bread, no vegetables, not born.

So I think the owner thought, deep thought: how to disperse the evil grief than to live happily ever after, where the money to take?

- Oh, do not grieve, master! - Says he Shabarsha. - Would day - bread and the money will be!

And he went on Shabarsha mill dam. "Perhaps - I think - the fish was caught, and selling - en that's money! Aha, yes, there's no strings to the bait ... Wait, now sovyu. "

Begged the miller handful of hemp, sat on the bank and the well twist hook. Forks, fork, and jumped out of the water to the shore boy in a black jacket but in red cap.

- Uncle! You're here doing? - He asked.

- And h ... Читать дальше »

WONDERFUL SHIRT

In a certain kingdom there lived a rich merchant. Merchant died and left three sons by age. Two senior each day went hunting.

At one point, they took with them and his younger brother, Ivan, to hunt, took him to a dense forest and left there - so that all his father's estate divided among themselves, and to disinherit him.

Ivan - the merchant's son for a long time wandering in the woods, eating berries yes roots, and finally came out on the plain, and on the plain, he saw the house.

Entered the room, walked, and walked - no one anywhere is empty, only one room at a table covered with three instruments, cymbals are three bread before every device on a bottle of wine delivered. Ivan - the merchant's son took a bite out of each piece of bread in a small, ate, and then all three of the bottles took a little bit of everything and hid behind the door.

Suddenly came the eagle, hit the ground and there was a ... Читать дальше »

What are you taking in the bazaar?

Poor little man took firewood to sell. Meets him so uppity rich.

- Hey, wait a minute! What are you taking to the market?

- Straw.

- What a straw - is wood!

- Well, if you see yourself, so there is nothing to ask!

Said the poor and went on his way.

The next day is so rich uppity on the street with a friend.

- And so, - tells him - I have not offended muzhichishka!

And poor right there - going to meet again.

- Here it is - yesterday's man for you! - Said rich.

No! - Meets him poor. - I do not yesterday: nearly forty years of banging, as I live in this world.

What next audible

Lived widowed farmer, he had three sons, and all were married. Everything was good, but one thing wrong: daughter lived together unharmonious, constantly swearing, and all because of the fact that each of them would be bolshuhoy. All were in good order, and each could be bolshuhoy.

Perekory bored old daughters and once he called his sons and said to them:

- Do brides every day disputes smoke yoke. It is necessary to kill. I've got in mind to ask them a riddle that will guess, that even bolshuhoy be. Only to then was not much dispute, if they agree, then the end of it.

Called for brides, and those agreed to this.

Late at night, the old man and daughters-says:

- You agreed to guess a riddle, and so the whole night you riddle, guess, "What further news?" Tomorrow I will ask you, and who will guess, that and will bolshuhoy.

In the morning the old man called the sons and daughters-and ... Читать дальше »

Cleanliness, GRACE AND BEAUTY

Soldiers came home on leave and wandered to one peasant night sleep:

- Hi, boss! Feed and heating passer!

- Well, have a seat at the table, guest will be!

Soldiers shot cleaver yes pack and sat down at the table, and the man and said:

- Guess service riddle never guess - slap you!

- Very well, tell the riddle.

- And what does purity?

The soldier thought and thought and uttered:

- Bread is clean, then he and cleanliness.

A guy slapping his cheek.

- Well you fight? They beat us but they say the blame.

- Clean, brother, cat:'s always washes! What does grace?

The soldier thought and thought again and said:

- Banner of the case, the bread - bliss!

A guy slapping his other time:

- You lie, brother, the service! Grace - water. Well, here's the latest mystery: what is beauty?

A ... Читать дальше »

CHIVY, CHIVY, CHIVYCHOK ...

There once was an old man and an old woman. They lived in poverty, and had reached the point - did not they have no wood, no splinters.

The old woman sent the old man:

- Go into the forest to chop wood.

The old man was going. He came into the forest, choose a tree - and pow-pow on him with an ax.

Suddenly wooden bird pops out and asks:

- Chivy, chivy, chivychok, what do you want, old man?

- Yes, that old woman ought to let kindling wood.

- Come home, and you have a lot of firewood and kindling.

Obeyed the old man - did not cut down a tree. Comes home - he filled the yard and firewood and kindling. He told the old woman about the bird, and the old woman said to him:

- We have a cottage-thin - go a minute, man, back in the forest, it is not correct for our bird house.

The old man obeyed. Arrives in the forest, found a tree, took an ... Читать дальше »

Traits and Peasant

In a certain kingdom, in some states there was a lake. The shores of the lake have been high, steep. Got into the habit to go to the shore features. And he walked every night. Once midnight comes, comes out of the rough water, an old man, sits on the shore and shouted:

- First, the worst! Year, the worst!

I'm tired of this guy - he lived near the shore. In store guy birch club and waited.

That's midnight, out of the water features. He sat down on the shore, his legs tucked under him, well shout

- First, the worst! Year, the worst!

A man crept up behind but how tyapnet feature on the head with a club, he just shouted:

- It can not hurt!

And disappeared into the water.

More from the time you never went to the beach.

HELL - Lender

The peasant in trouble and need money for worse. Meanwhile, there is no money, and where to find them? Contrived man to go to hell to ask for a loan. It comes to him and says:

- Give the devil, lend money.

- What do you want?

- In trouble.

- How much?

- Thousands.

- When you give?

- Tomorrow.

- Very well, - said the devil, and he counted a thousand.

The next day he went to the man of duty. A man said to him:

- Come back tomorrow.

On the third day he came. A man once told to come tomorrow. So he walked for several days in a row. Odnov man said to him:

- What you often walk up to me, I'll post on the gate of my board and write on it when you come for duty.

- Well, - said hell and gone.

A man wrote on the blackboard: "Come back tomorrow" - and hung it to the gate. Damn time came, the two come ... Читать дальше »

CHERNUSHKA

Once there was a gentleman, he had a good wife, and daughter beauty - her name Masheyu.

Only then-wife died, and he was married to another - to the widow in one of his two daughters were, but as evil, evil! They forced poor Masha over work, and when work was not, she was ordered to sit by the stove so rake out the fire, because Mary was always dirty and black, and they called her Nigella.

That's something people are talking that they want to marry the prince, that he will have a great holiday and that at that feast he chooses a bride.

It happened. Duke summoned all the guests. Began to gather and the stepmother and her daughters, Masha and do not want to take, how much she may ask - yes no no!

That's stepmother and her daughters went to the prince holiday, and stepdaughter had left the whole measure of barley, flour and soot - all mixed together - and ordered them to travel out all the grain by grain, the ... Читать дальше »